


Fine

by jeneru



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 16:16:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2157096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeneru/pseuds/jeneru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>By the time he deemed that such distance must be breached, he finds her form curled on the floor, shivering helplessly from a raging fever.</p><p>Oh had he never thought he had feared more than he had when he rushed her to the infirmary.</p><p>Same work posted in my DA account:<br/>http://jeneru.deviantart.com/</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fine

"I’m fine."

Her repeated response for the past few days had always failed to satisfy his unspoken question. The noticeable change in her features - the bags under her eyes, her chapped lips, and even the fringes on her otherwise neatly tied [h/c] locks - obviously betrays her claim. Yet, he decided to say nothing and simply watched over her from a safe distance so as not to annoy her already edgy mood.

By the time he deemed that such distance must be breached, he finds her form curled on the floor, shivering helplessly from a raging fever.

Oh had he never thought he had feared more than he had when he rushed her to the infirmary.

"I’m fine."

She insisted when he asked how she’s feeling upon her first waking moment, almost three days after the fit. He desperately sighed at her stubbornness and reached out to hold her hand, squeezing it gently before his expected rebuttal.

"You almost died there [y/n], why would you lie?"

"I’m thirsty. Can I have some water please?"

"[y/n]..."

"Erd, _please_."

Brows furrowed at her continuous avoidance, he’ll oblige nevertheless, leaving her side temporarily to get the requested drink. Handing the glass to her, he replaces his fingers in between hers - as if making sure she won’t leave the bed - while he patiently wait for her to empty its contents.

"Hanji said that you might have been pushing yourself a bit too hard."

"I’ve told you Erd, I’m fine. I was just careless back there."

"Exactly my point [y/n], you were never careless."

"Erd...can we just stop -"

She was interrupted as he suddenly pulled her in a firm embrace, feeling his chest rise and fall against hers as he let out another deep sigh. After a few seconds of immobility, she finally gave in, burying her face against the side of his neck after realizing how much she had missed his warmth.

The two of them have been together way before they even joined the military. It was actually her who wanted to join the Survey Corps, and he simply followed her so he can be assured of her ’safety’ - a word which they will later learn as something almost non-existent after their first expedition outside the walls

Fortunately for them both, they have proved themselves to be exceptional soldiers, not only surviving the expeditions that had followed, but being able to save quite a number of their members from falling victims to the Titans’ senseless gluttony. Soon, they find themselves being recognized for their skills, which eventually led them to their current positions - hers as a squad leader and his as a member of the Corporal’s Special Operation Squad.

However, their respective duties have also led them to work apart. There were months that they almost never see each other, save those days when his squad returns to the headquarters to re-supply, only to leave the following day. Some months, they don’t see each other at all, with her always being out to train her squad, especially the new recruits, for the upcoming expedition, not to mention the paperwork that she has to deal with after.

This current state had even reduced their communication into short missives in which they simply assure of each other’s well being. But when his letters went unanswered for the past three weeks, he finally decided to secure the Corporal’s permission to let him visit her, only to be greeted by her unusually distant demeanor.

"You should have told me." He finally said after minutes of silence, lifting a hand to brush his fingers thru her hair.

It was now her turn to sigh, her warm breath sending a tingling sensation against his skin. He felt her tug at his shirt, motioning him to loosen the embrace so she could move to face him.

She looks so weak and fragile before him, and seeing the way her lips slightly tugged down in a concerned look, he knew that he wasn’t really successful at hiding his own pained expression before her.

"It’s just a fever. You worry too much, Erd." She tried to assure him, obviously failing with her weak voice.

"And look where it got you. You got me so worried [y/n], I thought you’ll gonna die on me."

She went silent at the mention of death. He knew how the deaths in her squad from the last expedition had affected her, and perhaps is the reason why she’s pushing herself more than she should in the past few months. He knows how she’s determined to keep her comrades safe, at least keep the casualties down, even at her own cost.

At her silence he knew there’s no point in pressing her further. Changing the topic to her recovery, he managed to convince her to take the much needed leave. After she was discharged, he insisted to stay to take care of her, despite her hesitance, stating that looking after the titan-shifter should be his priority above anything else. But he assured her with the permission of the Corporal himself, even assuming some of her responsibilities while she rest.

Ironic as it may seem, her sickness had also sealed the gap brought about by the past months. Free time was spent with light talks as they catch up with each other, most of the time with her laughing - something he truly missed - at his stories about Petra and Oluo’s bickering, and of the latter’s constant misfortune of biting his tongue. Sometimes they’ll just reminisce about their past, those untainted memories they had before they chose the soldier’s path.

And in their quiet moments they’ll be contented with just each other’s presence, regardless if contact is as simple as hand-holding or as intimate as letting her sleep inside his embrace.

* * *

"I’ll be fine Erd, you can go back now."

She told him with an assuring smile. Despite the colour still lacking on her face, she simply dismissed his worries and had resumed with her work. And with this he returned to his squad, but not without her promise to always keep in touch -

\- no matter what.

Indeed the promise was kept, but to his dismay. The first letter he received not barely three days after they had parted had him rushing back to her side, as she was back again at the infirmary after collapsing in her office.

She was still unconscious when he arrived. Hanji had informed him that the illness that have struck her is something they’ve never dealed before, judging from her symptoms, an unknown viral strain being the probable cause. Nevertheless, she assured him that they’re working on a cure but are uncertain as to how soon they can come up with one.

"You’ll be fine [y/n]. Please, you have to eat."

Futile as his words may seem, he told her nonetheless, choosing to hold on to optimism as he watch his lover gradually lose it for the past two months.

"Why should I? I’ll just throw it up later."

The detachment in her tone caused his heart to ache. A pained swallow makes its way thru his throat as he try again, lifting the spoon to meet her lips.

"[y/n] please..."

"Dammit Erd!"

And he knew that she finally snapped. As tears flow against her now gaunt cheeks, she clamps a hand against her mouth as she try to muffle her own sobs. Gently pulling her close, he would let her cry in his chest, hand brushing against his back as he soothe her fragile form.

"I don’t want to die like this! I’d rather get eaten by those bastards than perish in this bed! I- I feel so helpless! So useless!" She continued in between sobs and fits of cough. The illness had made her so weak, she’s trembling intensely inside his arms. He in return simply soothed her in silence, knowing that no amount of words can comfort her in her state.

Minutes have passed and she finally went silent, taken over by exhaustion from all her crying. He cupped her face, lifting her chin to meet his gaze and pressed his lips against her forehead.

"Do you know how selfish you sounded back there?" He softly spoke, earning her confused expression.

He kissed her forehead again, letting out a deep sigh before he continued.

"I am here [y/n], so please, don’t ever think you’ll die or say you’d rather die this way or that. Am I doing such a crappy job that you’re so eager to leave me?" His last statement let out an unexpected chuckle from her, followed by another coughing fit, causing him to soothe her again until it stopped.

"I know you are better than this [y/n]. You can get thru this. If not for humanity’s sake, or for your squad, can you at least do it for me?"

At this she started to cry again, her apologies being drowned by her short sharp gasps. He quickly hushed her with chaste kisses, fearing that she might die from choking instead. As he managed to calm her down again, he cups her face to pull her in a rather intimate kiss when a very excited Hanji suddenly popped at the door.

"Good news guys! We did it! We finally made a cure!"

* * *

"I thought you’re not allowed to eat sweets yet." He remarked after tasting the familiar confection from her lips.

She shot him an annoyed glare before wrapping her arms around his waist. He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent as she press herself close while they both stand in a secluded corner, a couple of minutes before the assembly. 

"Don’t push yourself too hard out there okay?"

"Hanji cleared me for this expedition, don’t be such a worrywart."

"You know it can’t be helped, we’ll be out of the walls soon."

She then looks up to meet his gaze, the slight colour in her cheeks providing him a bit of relief at such an unnerving time.

"I’ll be fine, Erd. So don’t you dare get distracted." She assured him as she slowly stepped back, her hands lingering for a while to straighten up his jacket.

He simply nodded in response. As the bells rang to signal the start of the assembly, he takes her hand in his as they both walk towards their shared path.

Now, with the titan-shifter on their side, he could only silently hope that they’ll get out of this expedition -

\- just **fine**.

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for the lack of creativity with the title. xD
> 
> As requested by dear watcher from Deviantart.
> 
> Erd Gin/Eld Jinn belongs to Mr. Hajime Isayama.


End file.
